What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
