I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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