I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
