well you can't waste a boner
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
