I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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