Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
