White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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