HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
