how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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