Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
