You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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