he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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