Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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