well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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