im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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