K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
