i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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