I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
