I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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