Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My liver just had a heart attack.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
