You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
