you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
