OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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