you're like a bully in the Christmas story
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
