i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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