fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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