Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
