Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
