party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
