Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bring money and cleavage
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
