He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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