i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
