I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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