all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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