Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
