I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
