i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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