wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
