Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
