So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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