u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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