i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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