I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
