oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
