can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
