PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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