he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do vagina's smell?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
