Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
