Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
