So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
