The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
