and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
